How to get rid of warts

Warts can be a bitch. A big, fat, stinky, ugly, under dressed, slutty bitch. I’ve had quite a few ladies come in to me and ask me what to do when they have a wart? How do they get rid of them? Some of them have even gone to a doctor and been told that they can’t do anything, they just have to live with them. I don’t understand that one bit. Being a former gymnast I know what warts are like; one girl would get one and they would spread like wild fire through all the girls at the gym. But I am now a wart free girl, so you don’t have to live with them either. If your doctor won’t burn your wart off then there are a few things you can try at home. Now these things all work differently for different people, so if they don’t work for you, either be patient or try other things.

Note to self: Never google “warts” again.

First thing you can try is Compound W. This comes in four different forms; gel, liquid, pads and the freeze off removal system. I haven’t personally tried all of these, I have just tried the liquid and it worked very quickly, however my warts were very small when I applied this and were not deep at all. If possible, try and get your warts as soon as they come up; the sooner the better! So anyways, what the liquid does is remove your wart within 12 weeks. It comes in a little jar with a brush, and it is super easy to use. Try not to get it on your skin because it is not super cozy on your actual skin. The freeze off system looks like a Q-tip which is called the “foam applicator” and this “foam applicator” is -55°C. The web site informs us that this should remove your wart within 2 weeks. I haven’t tried this one, but 2 weeks sounds pretty darn good to me!

Liquid wart removal system

Next thing you can do is suffocate your wart. No I don’t mean push it’s face into the bed and tell it to bite the pillow, I mean cover that shit up with duct tape and don’t let it out for as long as that crap strip will stay on. After the duct tape starts to fall off, remove it completely and scrub at it with an emery board or pumice stone (make sure to throw it out after because warts can spread)to remove the dead skin cells, and reapply more duct tape. The tape removes all oxygen from the wart and doesn’t let it breathe which in turn will obviously suffocate the wart causing it to die. This is a cheap way to remove your warts however it can take a very long time to work. A website that I read said to remove the tape after around 6 days to exfoliate then reapply, however the longer you suffocate that little critter, the better it will work.

Duct tape is good for everything. (photo from

Those are the two removal treatments that I have found most effective this far along in my travels through life. Hopefully they work for you! Let me know how everything goes or if you have a few treatments that you like better? Or just comment on anything you shy, shy people…




3 thoughts on “How to get rid of warts

  1. Also that white stuff that comes out of dandelions when you pick them is INSANELY good for warts! Kills them in like 2-4 weeks.

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